Some wee little things in Grandma's Afternoons

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Menopausal Blogging

If you are hungry, you eat. Tired, you sleep. Thirsty, you drink. Lonely, you make a friend or find ways to connect with others. Constipated, you take laxative. I think you get it.   

Blogging, why?
What was the ailment I had to start me a blogging?  Why is it I can't blog or do some of the easiest things in life.
Extreme Anxiety!
Yup! I got it and have had it for two years it's called Menopause and I don't get hot flashes so therefore I should be grateful and not complain, right?

We (when I say we I mean me and my analogy) have determined that blogging is a way for me to escape. My metaphors are not always the best used at the best times - but hey it's my blog and I've decided that because I have menopause and the result of that is anxiety big time I'm going to use the words that come to mind.
A synopsis - I have Menopause. My symptoms of menopause is simple I have anxiety. Anxiety can be either a short term 'state' or a long term "trait". For me it has become a long term trait.
I try and face things head on, that doesn't work.
Most times I give up turn the other way and avoid doing things I like to do or they take me foooorrrrrrrreeeeeevvvvveeeerrrrr to do.
So I'm going to come here and talk about it.  Why? Because I'm in pain and blogging for me is an escape.  Sometimes I think I'm the only who has anxiety because everyone blogs all these coloured flowery blog posts and meanwhile my anxiety is so high it causes fear, constipation, anger, avoidance, or sometimes a feeling like I have to run, run as fast as I can and not look back because myself - the problem may be catching up to me.  I have no where to run, if I tell you I've got anxiety, I'm on this long road trip because our little tea room became popular just when we were about to retire, we had a overly busy summer that my daughter worked for 4 days and said "never again, this is crazy mom", hubby and I needed time away so we planned a road trip across Canada, where we are in close confined quarters,  I can't operate this unusual foreign tablet, I want to blog and have trouble, I look for things to do so I tried to knit, to read, to look out the window, just something to try and relax, regenerate, and rejuvenate so I can return to Prince Edward Island and face work that causes me anxiety because I have menopause and run on sentences.
Face the fear, fix what is broken and do them one at a time.  First things first..... my glasses, a spec of dirt on them causes me frustration. So That is what I fixed today, I walked into the eye glass store and met wmLisa, we connected over a spec of dust on my glasses that I was needing to remove so I can see clearer to sit in this confined RV and continue the drive across Canada without being able to knit or read because I have anxiety so bad I can't relax enough to read. Simple don't read just keep cleaning my lenses and thinking about wmLisa because she knew I had menopause and a gun in my back pocket and when I said I have a sensitivity, causing me anxiety because my glasses are dirty and the doctor said I need to find "Grace" in my life, she said "what does he know he is a man and will never get menopause", then she told me how she has been feeling and I listened like I don't need to run anymore because someone was running with me not away from me.  I made a menopausal friend today and I feel great.

So why the Eagle?  I was reading someone's blog (memory is also a problem) she will remind me I hope. Anyway she was talking about Hawk Cliff Cove.  I finished reading and commented, just as I did this Hawk landed on the fence post just beside the RV.  Odd, you might think but these coincidences and happenings come to me all the time, they don't cause me anxiety. 

Just so you know, I've never seen a hawk or eagle. Sure I've seen an Eagle in a nest on top of a hydro post while driving but never this close up.

I think my lenses are clean, it's 11am, hubby is waiting we need to get on the road.
Until we connect next,


Country Gal said...

Hawk Cliff that was me lol ! I hear you I to am menopausal have been for 8 years and understand fully what your going through , Some days I just want to bury myself in the back 40 and some days I want to run out into the field and scream . I hide it all very well and keep it deep as for me harping on it all makes it worse . I suffer from the bloat , frustration, poor memory , feeling sluggish , and always feeling tired there are days I just do not want to deal with anything or anyone but my Miggs and the nature I have here and my love of photography keeps me going . It is hard some days but life happens and goes on doesn't it ? Hope you feel better as the trip goes on and you can at least enjoy most of it ! Chins up girl , me mum always said .

Country Gal said...

PS. after all that AWESOME ! photos !

Country Gal said...

Actually Cindy that is a Falcon and WOW ! even I haven't seen one that close !

Country Gal said...

The difference from a Hawk and a Falcon just incase your interested is the beak Falcons have a hooked top beak like this one you captured where as a Hawk is smoother and more straight flat top beak !

Amy at love made my home said...

So sorry to hear that you are feeling so rotten Cindy. Just because others blogs are all flowery and so on, please don't think that people don't understand or that they don't have problems too. I know that quite a lot of people with difficulties blog to get away and just focus on the happy things, it is their little happy space. It isn't that we think we are all happy, it is an escape. I don't share all kinds of things, but know that I understand. xx

Pamela Gordon said...

Hi Cindy, thanks for sharing your menopausal issue with us. It is a problem for a lot of women. I was blessed to get through it without a lot of problems. I hope this trip will help you to relax and enjoy the journey and all the beauty of our great country and put the tea room etc. on the back burner for now. Hugs. Pam

Lynne said...

The only good I can find in menopause is when it is done, over, no more . . . sorry it is bringing you some troubles!
Hopefully the relaxing part of your trip will bring more good days than not. Wishing you the best!

eileeninmd said...

Awesome shots of the Hawk..I hope you are feeling better. Menopause is awful, I have the horrible hot flashes..Take care and have a great day!

Vee said...

And you might find another thing helpful...besides prayer...and it is a bit pricey, but lasts a long time: Peace and Calm therapeutic oil from Young Living. I know that I sound like a commercial, but it helped me immensely. I won't be without it. I remember a time when I was writing about anxiety on my blog, too, only not as humously as you have, and now, after finding this product, I have not even thought about it lately. Have a wonderful road trip! (I was going to say that I hoped you had had a busy, profitable summer, but here I read that it was way too much so.

Vee said...


=) Oh, and thank you for popping by! Always enjoy hearing from you.